November 23, 2011
If you have a cat, then you may know that the first rule of living harmoniously with him is to understand that he has a tail. If you forget about the tail even for a moment, it will definitely turn up under your feet. The cat will run off with a scream, and you will spend the rest of the day (if your cat has been with you for a while) or even week (if you have acquired the cat recently) feeling like a heartless criminal, unworthy of taking care of such a noble creature.
The second rule of living with a cat is to remember that he is everywhere. You might be moving your plants into different pots when the phone rings. The cat won’t miss that moment. If he spent the last little while just sitting there, watching you spill some soil onto the newspapers you’ve spread on the floor, he’s going to leap into action and start spreading it around as soon as you look the other way. That’s the best case scenario. Worst case – he’ll use the soil and the newspapers in the way he thinks fits them most. The owners of cats will understand the significance of the words “newspapers and soil”.
The third rule of living with a cat – finding out as soon as possible what products he loves as much as you do. Because, as soon as you walk in the direction of the fridge, the cat, who, just moments ago, had been sweetly asleep under a ray of sunlight, responds like a warhorse to the call of the trumpet. If you cut a little slice of your favourite cheese and brought it towards your taste buds, you will definitely hear a loud and demanding “MEAW” before you’re able to enjoy it. While I eat olives, the cat gazes at me from below with sorrowful eyes, continuously. His facial expression reads approximately “Are you eating? Are you enjoying yourself? Meanwhile, here I am, a hungry little cat. Nobody will even give me a taste of olives.”
If we have a cantaloupe in the house, it’s enough for me to even think of cutting it open. The cat – who was happily occupied with a fly before he read my mind - runs towards me and starts meawing, “Of course you should cut it open! What are you waiting for?”
The fourth rule of living with a cat – never be nervous. Not even a little bit.
Any unusual behaviour will provoke the cat into a mild frenzy. If you are in a hurry, and are trying to pick up your things, the cat will choose to run in the same rhythm as you, shuffling under your feet and nearly getting kicked at every step. Which nobody would willingly give him. Because there is a fifth rule of living with a cat – love him no matter what.